Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 PM UTC

Friday, October 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

His Feelings Are Policy.
Original: Trump escalates effort to fire Federal Reserve governor Lisa Cook
Washington Post Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

So it was.
Original: The AI is in the computer
The Verge 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Justice? Or Just Another Spectacle?
Original: UN says Pentagon plan to livestream execution of Fort Hood shooter would amount to torture – US politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Democracy: A Suggestion Box With Teeth.
Original: UK politics: Green MP Siân Berry says opponents of Zionism motion were ‘persuaded’ not to fight it because of byelection – as it happened
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Another Icon to Ruin.
Original: James Bond Comic Book Series in the Works from Grant Morrison, IDW (Exclusive)
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories