Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 AM UTC

Friday, October 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Spectacle for the Troops.
Original: Fort Hood shooter’s execution will be live-streamed, Defense Dept. says
Washington Post Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood's Casting Calls for Trauma.
Original: Crystal Harris, Hugh Hefner’s Widow, Urges Jessica Biel to Reconsider Playing His Wife in ‘Playmates’: “I Experienced Sexual, Emotional and Physical Abuse”
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories