Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 3:00 AM UTC

Friday, October 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Datacentres: Peak Optimism.
Original: Firmus pulls biggest ASX float since Telstra amid investor doubt about datacentre company
The Guardian World 21m ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories