Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

AI Apocalypse: Priced to Lose.
Original: Anthropic’s prospectus details losses, growth, and, yes, a warning that its AI could end humanity
TechCrunch 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Your wallet misses you already.
Original: RBA interest rates: Reserve Bank hikes cash rate to 4.6%, the highest level since 2011
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

God Hates Your GPU.
Original: Pope Leo Says AI Safety Fears Are Not ‘Fake News’ And Criticizes Nvidia’s Billionaire CEO
Forbes Business 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories