Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 PM UTC

Thursday, September 24, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

History Can Wait.
Original: Trump officials end review of how arch could harm historic sites
Washington Post Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Priorities: Yachts Or Legal Fees?
Original: My husband and I are in our 50s and have no kids. We have $2 million in IRAs and 401(k)s. Do we really need a will?
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Disney Seeks CEO: Must Tolerate Existential Dread.
Original: Former Disney CEO Bob Iger on What He Valued in a Successor After Chapek Ouster: Can They Deal With a ‘Real Crisis’ in ‘Reasonable and Sane and Steady,’ ‘Mature Way’
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories