Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 3:00 PM UTC

Monday, August 24, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Golf: The Ultimate Escape Plan.
Original: Trump is heading to his golf course in Ireland to watch the Irish Open golf tournament next month
ABC News Politics 10h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Philanthropy? Or just lonely?
Original: ‘My main goal is to help people’: I’m single, 74, with $10 million burning a hole in my pocket. What should I do?
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Grief: Now a Brand.
Original: Sara Bareilles Isn’t Afraid To Show The Messy Side of Grief
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago
Royalty Endorsed Crime Pays.
Original: ‘The Gentlemen’ Lands Season 3 Renewal Amid Meghan Markle Casting Rumors
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago
Venice Just Got Bloomier.
Original: Orlando Bloom to Be Honored During Venice Film Festival With Filming Italy Award
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories