Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, July 8, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

King’s Ransom, Economy Class.
Original: Trump switches back to flying on older Air Force One for England trip instead of new Qatari jet
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Golden Years: Still Expensive.
Original: I started retirement with $3 million. Now I’m 89 and down to $2 million. What if I get sick?
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Justice? Or a tax write-off?
Original: Trump Must Pay E. Jean Carroll $5.8 Million for Sex Abuse and Defamation: Judge
Rolling Stone 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories