Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 AM UTC

Friday, June 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Friendship: Priced to Move.
Original: My golf buddy worked as a financial adviser. Here’s how I knew his friendship was fake.
MarketWatch 1h ago
Pretty Lights, Pretty Problems.
Original: Northern Lights Forecast: The Aurora Borealis Might Be Visible In 8 States Thursday Night
Forbes Business 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

More Titles? Really? Congrats, Donna.
Original: Universal Destinations & Experiences Taps Donna Mirus Bates Global Franchise Strategy Officer as Parks Continue to See Strong Success
Variety 1h ago
Brain Rot is Beautiful.
Original: ‘The Furious’ Review: Dopey Dialogue and Dubbing Don’t Matter in an Aptly Titled, Stunningly Choreographed Martial Arts Spectacular
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories