Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 7:00 PM UTC

Thursday, May 28, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Lies.
Original: What are Republicans going to campaign on?
Washington Post Politics 1d ago
Even 80s Ghosts Have Standards.
Original: Milli Vanilli and Morris Day say they won't perform at Trump-linked Freedom 250's DC shows
PBS NewsHour Politics 1d ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sugar Rush of Existential Dread.
Original: M&M Releases ‘Love Island’-Themed Candy, Printed With Lines ‘Bombshell Arrives,’ ‘Got a Text’ and More
Variety 1d ago

Sports ★ 5 stories

Humanity Still Loses.
Original: 'Not a robot' - Sinner had 'no energy' in shock defeat
BBC Sport 1d ago