Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Monday, May 11, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Soon, a ticker will mourn.
Original: There’s a new top target for the S&P 500 as the ‘melt-up’ intensifies
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories