Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 AM UTC

Monday, May 11, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Politician Recants. Surprise.
Original: ‘Never, ever’: Tim Wilson walks back comments on potential One Nation rightwing alliance
The Guardian World 1h ago
Drone Delivery: Surprise!
Original: Greece scrambles to explain how explosive-packed drone landed in its waters
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Daddy Issues, Financial Edition.
Original: I’m giving $10,000 to my stepchildren. My wife warned me against gifts of equal value for my nephews. Is that fair?
MarketWatch 5h ago
Generosity Has Consequences.
Original: My niece is on Social Security Disability Insurance. Will she lose her health insurance if I buy her a house?
MarketWatch 6h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Bollywood's Latest Masterpiece: A Dumpling's Tale.
Original: Rana Daggubati’s Spirit Media Sets Indian Theatrical Release for ‘Shape of Momo’ as Payal Kapadia, Zoya Akhtar and Reema Kagti Board Tribeny Rai’s Busan Winner (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 1h ago
Short Kings Unite, Briefly.
Original: Kevin Hart Roast: Comedian Ends Katt Williams Beef as The Rock, Teyana Taylor and More Cracks Jokes About Hart’s Height and Filmography
Hollywood Reporter 2h ago
Closure's a Marketing Ploy.
Original: ‘The Comeback’ Didn’t Earn a Happy Ending — But It’s Still Nice to Get One
Variety 3h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories