Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 PM UTC

Saturday, May 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

God, Country, and Fewer Laws.
Original: Rejecting church and state separation is on the wish list for Trump's religious liberty commission
ABC News Politics 8h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

More Cameras. More Problems.
Original: The Instax Wide 400 builds on instant photography’s simplicity and stretches it, literally
TechCrunch 7h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood Demands a Personality Test.
Original: Where Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni’s Careers Go Next: “Who Wants to Work With People That Go This Far?”
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago
Hollywood Finally Wants Money Back. Shocker.
Original: Television Academy Endorses Post-Production Tax Credit Bill as Assemblyman Nick Schultz Rallies Support in Burbank: ‘We Should Have Done This a Decade Ago’
Variety 2h ago
All-You-Can-Consume Despair.
Original: ‘Buffet Infinity,’ A Surreal Horror Film Told Entirely Through Commercials, Is a Must-Watch for Midnight Movie Fans
Variety 3h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories