Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 PM UTC

Saturday, May 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

God, Country, and Fewer Laws.
Original: Rejecting church and state separation is on the wish list for Trump's religious liberty commission
ABC News Politics 7h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

More Film, More Debt.
Original: The Instax Wide 400 builds on instant photography’s simplicity and stretches it, literally
TechCrunch 6h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Fenway's a Trap.
Original: The Red Sox Need To Hit Better At Fenway Park If They Want To Contend
Forbes Business 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood Remembers Profit. Finally.
Original: Television Academy Endorses Post-Production Tax Credit Bill as Assemblyman Nick Schultz Rallies Support in Burbank: ‘We Should Have Done This a Decade Ago’
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories