Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 PM UTC

Saturday, May 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Priorities, people.
Original: Mexican parents criticise ending school year a month early for World Cup
BBC World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Fenway’s a Trap.
Original: The Red Sox Need To Hit Better At Fenway Park If They Want To Contend
Forbes Business 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

All-You-Can-Consume Nightmare.
Original: ‘Buffet Infinity,’ A Surreal Horror Film Told Entirely Through Commercials, Is a Must-Watch for Midnight Movie Fans
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories