Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 AM UTC

Friday, May 8, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Future Plans? Please Hold.
Original: As Marcomentum sweeps the internet, Rubio, White House swear off 2028 talk
Washington Post Politics 5h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Tennessee: Democracy's New Souvenir Shop.
Original: ‘This is how we cement President Trump’s agenda’: Tennessee Republicans celebrate state’s new congressional maps – live
The Guardian World 3h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

War is Good For Business, Folks.
Original: Oil futures rise after U.S., Iran trade fire; stock futures quiet after court rejects Trump’s tariffs
MarketWatch 3h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories