Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Lying Gets an Upgrade.
Original: OpenAI claims ChatGPT’s new default model hallucinates way less
The Verge 13h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Gold Bottom? Sure, Jan.
Original: This gold-timing indicator just hit a bottom — and history says a strong rally is next
MarketWatch 12h ago
Payroll Cuts Bite Back.
Original: The Celtics' Luxury-Tax Dumps Came Back To Haunt Them Against The Sixers
Forbes Business 12h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories