Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Trump Still Around? Shocker.
Original: Primary elections in Ohio, Indiana offer latest temperature check on Trump popularity
NPR Politics 20h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Iran: "Just you wait, it gets worse.
Original: Middle East crisis live: ‘We have not even begun’, Iran warns US amid escalation in strait of Hormuz
The Guardian World 17h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories