Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Democracy: Now With Extra Steps.
Original: Michigan special election to decide state Senate control and give clues about fall midterms
ABC News Politics 17h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Infinite Demand? Sure, Jan.
Original: Moment Energy raises $40M to meet ‘infinite demand for power’ with EV batteries
TechCrunch 18h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Rules? Please.
Original: Badenoch says Farage ‘not someone who plays by the rules’ after revelation of undisclosed £5m donation – UK politics live
The Guardian World 17h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Family Values, Apparently.
Original: Isabella Rossellini Set for Alice Rohrwacher’s ‘Three Incestuous Sisters’ Alongside Previously Announced Cast Dakota Johnson, Saoirse Ronan, Jessie Buckley, Josh O’Connor
Variety 17h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories