Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, October 20, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

France: Riots Subsided. Progress?
Original: French cities ‘calm overnight’ after targeted curfews, prime minister says – Europe live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Protecting Oil, Obviously.
Original: UK to deploy Typhoon jets to help defend Saudi Arabia from Houthi attacks
Al Jazeera 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Money Can't Buy Class.
Original: Mets’ $17 Million Castoff Sends 5-Word Yankees Message
Forbes Business 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Another Diagnosis, Another Bill.
Original: Christina Applegate Reveals She Was Misdiagnosed With MS: ‘I’m Back at Square One’ and It’s a ‘Mindf—’
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories