Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 PM UTC

Friday, October 16, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

$4 Million Isn't Enough, Apparently.
Original: My wife says we can’t afford to retire. I vetoed her $8,000 trip to Italy. We’re in our 60s and have $4 million. Do I keep working?
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Priorities: Grammy, Then Prison.
Original: A$AP Rocky Talks Disc 2 of ‘Don’t Be Dumb’ and Grammy Season: ‘I Got to Take Something Home, Man’
Rolling Stone 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories