Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 AM UTC

Wednesday, October 14, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Greece dodges a Guilfoyle.
Original: Trump's ambassador to Greece, Kimberly Guilfoyle, resigns after allegations of improper conduct
NPR Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Air Miles to Avoid Accountability.
Original: Trump heads to rallies in Arizona and Montana after campaign stop-off in Alaska – US politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Darkness is a Feature, Not a Bug.
Original: Russian attacks on Ukraine leave 600,000 without power as Zelenskyy says Moscow ‘disrespecting’ US – Europe live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Four Million Isn't Enough, Apparently.
Original: My wife says we can’t afford to retire, so I vetoed her $8,000 trip to Italy. We have $4 million saved. Do I keep working?
MarketWatch 1h ago
Money Funnier When It's Lost.
Original: Investors have made big bets on tech stocks. Why one strategist just downgraded the sector.
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Texas AG Whines. Surprise.
Original: ‘Abbott Is Struggling’: Ken Paxton Gripes About Texas GOP and Campaign Woes in New Leaked Audio
Rolling Stone 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories