Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 PM UTC

Monday, October 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Trump's Clockwork Orange.
Original: Trump blew past deadline to halt running taxpayer-funded campaign-style ads
Washington Post Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Capitalism Dressed as Witchcraft.
Original: Nostalgia Fuels Halloween Decor Trends as Retailers Tap Into the ‘Practical Magic’ Aesthetic
Hollywood Reporter 24m ago

Sports ★ 5 stories

Mythology's Got Game.
Original: How the Valkyries made it to the WNBA Finals ... just two years after their debut
ESPN 27m ago