Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 PM UTC

Monday, October 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

NFL: Where Mediocrity Wins.
Original: Eagles and Commanders make poor decisions that cost them wins during tough week for NFC East
ABC News Politics 3h ago
God's Lawyers Get a New Lobby.
Original: How the Supreme Court is reshaping the limits of religious rights in America
Washington Post Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Your data is the product.
Original: Former Plaud exec raises $26M for AI app that listens to you in the background
TechCrunch 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Literary Soul Sold: Hammer Time Again.
Original: Hammer Films Owner John Gore Studios Acquires Rights to ‘The Woman in Black’ Author Susan Hill’s Complete Works (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories