Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 PM UTC

Friday, October 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Congressman Flees Reality.
Original: Republican congressman tries to outrun a potential blue wave in New York toss-up seat
NPR Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Space Race: Still Waiting.
Original: Rocket Report: A rare Falcon 9 scrub; is it just about Vulcan's time to shine?
Ars Technica 2h ago
Romance Dead, Scroll On.
Original: Dunking on Dating App Profiles Is Content Gold. People Are Getting Sick of It
Wired 2h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories