Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 AM UTC

Friday, October 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Democracy: Still a Game.
Original: Labour wins Holborn and St Pancras byelection; Polanski ‘absolutely’ intends to remain Green party leader – UK politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

SpaceX Now Your Only Friend.
Original: AT&T, Verizon And T-Mobile Stocks Slump As SpaceX Announces Key ‘Starlink Mobile’ Deal
Forbes Business 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Royalty, Repression, Rinse, Repeat.
Original: ‘Queer Edward II’ Gives an Inside Look at Derek Jarman’s Film and Timely Historical Snapshot of a Queer Rights Backlash
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago
Another Hero We Didn’t Ask For.
Original: John Rhys-Davies, Diego Boneta Fantasy ‘Starbright’ Boarded by Cappu Films Ahead of Busan Market (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 1h ago
More Iberia, Less Soul.
Original: Why BBC Studios Hired a Channels & Streaming Iberia Team: Execs Outline Growth Opportunities
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories