Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 PM UTC

Thursday, October 8, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Voting Now a Crime?
Original: ICE Emails Discuss Using Palantir-Supported Tool to Investigate Voter Fraud
Wired 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

$3 Million Isn't Enough, Dear.
Original: My husband inherited $3 million. He wants a vacation home, but I want to save for retirement. Who’s right?
MarketWatch 2h ago
Reality TV Just Got Darker.
Original: Hegseth Says Fort Hood Shooter’s ‘Public’ Execution Will Be Livestreamed
Forbes Business 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Another CGI Family to Fill the Void.
Original: Marvel’s ‘VisionQuest’ Surprise Premieres at NYCC and Earns Glowing First Reactions: ‘A Worthy Successor’ to ‘WandaVision’
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories