Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 PM UTC

Thursday, October 8, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

He Hit Her, She's His PR.
Original: A candidate says he slammed his wife against a door. She says he’s not an abuser.
Washington Post Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

AI Charity? Sure, Jan.
Original: Anthropic launches free AI security scans for open-source projects
The Verge 1h ago
Elon's Got Bars Now.
Original: SpaceX announces plan to become a ‘major mobile carrier’
The Verge 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories