Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Football is America’s opiate.
Original: A late flag, a wiped out interception and Pat Bryant's blunt admission after Broncos-Rams thriller
ABC News Politics 40m ago
Legacy burns bright.
Original: GOP senator blocks bill to stop Trump from demolishing Kennedy Center
Washington Post Politics 45m ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Promises, promises.
Original: Trump denies offering Iran sanctions relief for nuclear concessions – US politics live
The Guardian World 22m ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Time Flies, Studios Don’t.
Original: Richard Linklater Says ‘Merrily We Roll Along’ Starts Filming Again in a ‘Few Months’ and Gives ‘Progress Report’ on 20-Year Production: ‘See You in 2040’
Variety 11m ago

Sports ★ 5 stories