Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Estonia: Threats Are Bad, Apparently.
Original: ‘We will not be intimidated,’ says Estonian PM after attributing recent arson attack to Russia - Europe live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Zombies: The Only Globalists We Can Trust.
Original: Amazon MGM Execs Tout New Mercedes Ron Hit, How Spain’s ‘Apocalypse Z’ Became a Hit That’s Getting a Sequel: “Zombies Have No Nationality”
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago
Basket Gets Lucky.
Original: Olivia Colman and Alexander Skarsgård on Playing a Fisherwoman and a ‘Very Sexy Basket’ in ‘Wicker’: It’s ‘Two Souls Being Kind to Each Other’
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories