Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 PM UTC

Monday, September 28, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Ego Trip to Monument Size.
Original: Trump aims to leave a physical legacy in D.C., bulldozing norms along the way
NPR Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Pay Now, Dream Later.
Original: Your final chance to grab your exhibit table at TechCrunch Disrupt 2026 is Oct. 2
TechCrunch 1h ago
AI Safety? Sure, Jan.
Original: Nvidia says its new AI safety platform can contain rogue agents within ‘milliseconds’
The Verge 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories