Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 PM UTC

Friday, September 25, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Privacy? It’s a suggestion.
Original: Government can use Social Security data to identify noncitizen voters, Supreme Court rules
Washington Post Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Romance: A Calculated ROI.
Original: How do I know when to ask someone out? I’m 21 and I don’t want to waste my money or my time.
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories