Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 AM UTC

Wednesday, September 23, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Pay to Feel Smart About Tech.
Original: TechCrunch Founder Summit’s agenda revealed: Unlock fundraising, hiring, and AI insights in Boston on November 4
TechCrunch 21h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Gun Scare? Or Just Tuesday?
Original: Jesse Baird ‘petrified’ of Beau Lamarre-Condon and kept repeating ‘he has a gun’, court hears
The Guardian World 16h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Golden Years, Plastic Tears.
Original: ‘It doesn’t seem fair’: I’m retired and have plenty of money. Why can’t I qualify for a retail credit card?
MarketWatch 18h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Another Batman? Groundbreaking.
Original: Robert Pattinson Says ‘The Batman 2’ Is ‘So Ambitious’ and a ‘Different Take’ on the Franchise: ‘It’s a Real Left Turn From the First’
Variety 16h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories