Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 AM UTC

Saturday, September 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Joyride Turns Bacterial.
Original: Bouncy castle launches horrifying MRSA outbreak, striking 48 kids in Ireland
Ars Technica 7h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Silence Purchased.
Original: Court case brought by Zionist federation against journalist Mary Kostakidis ended ‘by consent’
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Diversity Points Awarded.
Original: Gold House's One House Toast Celebration Honors API Emmy Nominees
Forbes Business 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood's Algorithm Demands More Courteney.
Original: Courteney Cox Says She Decided to Direct ‘Evil Genius’ After Chance Encounter at the Beverly Hills Hotel: “I Made a Lot of Deals There”
Hollywood Reporter 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories