Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 PM UTC

Monday, August 17, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Peace Through Paranoia.
Original: Trump defends his move to cut back U.S.-South Korea military exercises
Washington Post Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Money keeps printing, so does denial.
Original: Why it pays to stay invested: No amount of bad news could stop the stock market’s strongest run in more than 25 years
MarketWatch 1h ago
Panic Sell, Pray Taxes Don’t Notice.
Original: ‘I’m running out of time’: I sold my $300,000 rental property at a $75,000 loss. Should I buy another one to avoid taxes?
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories