Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 7:00 PM UTC

Friday, August 14, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

History’s a Suggestion.
Original: Woman arrested after second world war memorial in DC vandalized
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Generosity Is Taxed. Surprise.
Original: A plan to save Social Security involves high earners paying more in taxes — without getting more in benefits
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Football Addiction, Now on Sale.
Original: DIRECTV Drops Price of Sports Genre Pack to Under $50 for First Month Just in Time for Fall Football Season
Variety 1h ago
Hamm snubbed: Hollywood stunned by…acting?
Original: ‘Your Friends and Neighbors’ Showrunner Is Surprised Jon Hamm Didn’t Get an Emmy Nod: “A Performance That Should’ve Been Recognized”
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories