Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 AM UTC

Thursday, August 13, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Angus Got Shaken. Journalism? Even Worse.
Original: Australia politics live: Icac hears evidence on ‘shake down Angus’ message as opposition leader’s staffer berates journalist for asking about it
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood Still Thriving on Beige.
Original: Hollywood’s Top-Grossing Films of 2025 Show Limited Progress Toward Inclusion, Study Says: ‘The Pace of Change Has Been Slow’
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories