Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 AM UTC

Monday, July 13, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Tiny Humans, Tiny Trust.
Original: More than 120 families contacted as police investigate alleged abuse by Sydney childcare worker
The Guardian World 1h ago
Region’s Stability: Just a Suggestion.
Original: Iran launches attacks on American military facilities in Bahrain and Kuwait after fresh US strikes – Middle East crisis live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Gas Just Got Funnier.
Original: Oil prices surge as much as 5% after Iran declares Strait of Hormuz is closed
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Two Toms. One Meaningless Existence.
Original: Tom Holland, Meet Tom Holland: ‘Odyssey’ Star and ‘Rest Is History’ Podcaster Talk Myth and Movies
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago
Luxury Screaming Resumes.
Original: ‘The Real Housewives of London’ Sets Season 2 Return on Hayu
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories