Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 PM UTC

Thursday, July 2, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Grifting is His Brand.
Original: Trump raked in more than $1B through crypto ventures, federal filing shows
NPR Politics 7h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Democracy: Now With More Beer.
Original: Starmer considers letting pubs stay open for England v Mexico match after backlash
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Anime Dreams, Corporate Schemes.
Original: Crunchyroll Founder Launches AniBiz, New Global Anime Licensing Platform With Offerings From Aniplex, Toei and More Top IP Holders (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 2h ago
Hollywood Will Now Save the World, Obviously.
Original: UTA Partner Jeremy Barber on Joining UNICEF Board and Enlisting Hollywood to Tell Organization’s Stories: ‘I Believe We’re Here to Take Care of Each Other’ (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories