Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 AM UTC

Thursday, July 2, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Democracy: Now With Extra Steps.
Original: Australia politics live: Labor shuts down Andrew Wilkie’s protest against ‘rubbish’ gambling reform bill
The Guardian World 3h ago
Another Speech? Bless Their Hearts.
Original: Zohran Mamdani plans ‘major address’ to mark US’s 250th anniversary ahead of Trump’s Mount Rushmore speech – live
The Guardian World 3h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Righteous Exile Seeks Kingdom.
Original: Tucker Carlson Says Trump Is 'Not A Man In Charge Of His Own Life'—Wants To Build New Third Party
Forbes Business 4h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories