Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, June 17, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Another Celebrity Solves Britain. Really.
Original: Burnham says he wants to ensure Makerfield byelection ‘changes British politics’, in eve-of-poll speech – UK politics live
The Guardian World 17h ago
Spying on You Can Wait.
Original: Trump delays Clayton’s nomination for intelligence director, furthering lapse of powerful surveillance tool – live
The Guardian World 17h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Die Trying.
Original: Scared to spend your retirement money? Here’s one way to get over the fear of running out.
MarketWatch 17h ago
Sportsball Still Pays Rent.
Original: Historic NBA Finals ratings and Fox’s $22 billion Roku deal show live sports are key to winning the streaming wars
MarketWatch 17h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories