Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 3:00 AM UTC

Sunday, June 7, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Another Careerist Ascends.
Original: Former Biden official Deb Haaland wins New Mexico primary for governor
Washington Post Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Knowledge is a Crime.
Original: Scientists ejected from diabetes conference for distributing journal reprints
Ars Technica 7h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Golden Years, Golden Fleece.
Original: We thought we found the perfect luxury retirement community, but it’s millions of dollars in debt. Are we trapped?
MarketWatch 5h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood Mourns: Fewer Studios, More Tears.
Original: Emotions Spill Over at Town Hall of Industry Workers Opposed to Paramount-WBD Merger: “It’s the Death of a Great American Industry”
Hollywood Reporter 2h ago
Teen Angst Gets Goth Makeover: How Novel.
Original: Olivia Rodrigo Reveals New Album Has Duet With the Cure’s Robert Smith Via Surprise Premiere for ‘What’s Wrong With Me’ at Primavera Sound
Variety 5h ago
Grateful He Got Paid to Say That.
Original: Scott Pelley Shows Appreciation for Supporters Following ’60 Minutes’ Firing: “Deeply Grateful”
Hollywood Reporter 5h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories