Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 AM UTC

Sunday, June 7, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Freeing Souls, Filling Beds.
Original: What to know about the ongoing protests and arrests outside a New Jersey detention center
ABC News Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Knowledge is a Disease.
Original: Scientists ejected from diabetes conference for distributing journal reprints
Ars Technica 7h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Golden Years, Golden Fleece.
Original: We thought we found the perfect luxury retirement community, but it’s millions of dollars in debt. Are we trapped?
MarketWatch 5h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood Mourns Its Profitable Future.
Original: Emotions Spill Over at Town Hall of Industry Workers Opposed to Paramount-WBD Merger: “It’s the Death of a Great American Industry”
Hollywood Reporter 2h ago
Teen Angst Gets a Goth Makeover. How Novel.
Original: Olivia Rodrigo Reveals New Album Has Duet With the Cure’s Robert Smith Via Surprise Premiere for ‘What’s Wrong With Me’ at Primavera Sound
Variety 5h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories