Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 PM UTC

Monday, June 1, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

$50 to Feel Slightly Less Inept.
Original: Pebblebee’s Halo can help track lost items and keep you safe, and it’s on sale for $50
The Verge 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood's Got Nothing Left.
Original: ‘The Lost Boys’ Director Michael Arden on Honoring the Cult Horror Classic and His Plans for ‘Happy Feet’ Broadway Musical With ‘Anthropomorphic Animals’
Variety 1h ago
Teen Angst, Now a Product.
Original: ‘My Favorite Music I’ve Ever Made’: Everything We Know About Gracie Abrams’ ‘Daughter From Hell’
Rolling Stone 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories