Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 PM UTC

Saturday, May 30, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

AI Now Handles Your Regrets.
Original: I put Google’s 24/7 AI assistant Gemini Spark to work, and it’s actually pretty useful
TechCrunch 20h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Karma's a Beach.
Original: Senior Sri Lankan monk suspended over child sex abuse allegation
Al Jazeera 20h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Retirement? She's got options.
Original: My friend, 62, earns $20,000 a year. Should she take Social Security now — and claim survivor’s benefit at 67?
MarketWatch 20h ago
Debt is a great way to show you care.
Original: My husband took out a $100,000 Parent PLUS loan for his daughter. She dropped out, citing mental-health issues. Should we refinance?
MarketWatch 20h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories