Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 PM UTC

Saturday, May 30, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Justice? They Brought Snacks.
Original: Week in Politics: Bondi testifies in Epstein case; DOJ's inquiry into E. Jean Carroll
NPR Politics 1d ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

China, U.S. Fight. You Lose.
Original: The U.S.-China rivalry is killing global supply chains. Your portfolio needs a ‘home court advantage.’
MarketWatch 22h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Ice, Ice Baby, Patriot Too.
Original: Vanilla Ice Defends Plans to Perform at Trump White House’s ‘Freedom 250’: ‘I’ll Go Play for Putin and I’ll Play in Iran if You Want’
Variety 23h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories