Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 7:00 PM UTC

Friday, May 29, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Silence Speaks Volumes. Shocking.
Original: WATCH: Bondi refused to answer any questions about Trump and Epstein files, Rep. Garcia says
PBS NewsHour Politics 23m ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Oops, More Secrets Lost in the Shuffle.
Original: Trump’s former attorney general admits to ‘redaction errors’ in Epstein files in closed-door testimony – live
The Guardian World 27m ago

Business ★ 5 stories

AI Hype: Now What, Sheep?
Original: What’s next for investors after the AI rally supercharged stocks in May?
MarketWatch 37m ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Justice: It’s a Feeling.
Original: Court Formally Clears Hernan Lopez, Former Fox TV Exec and Wondery Founder, of Bribery Charge
Variety 24m ago

Sports ★ 5 stories