Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, May 26, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Texas: Where the Best Get Run Off.
Original: Cornyn tries to hold on to Texas Senate seat in runoff with Paxton, the latest test of Trump's power
ABC News Politics 1d ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Iran: America's just a tourist now.
Original: Middle East crisis live: US will no longer have safe haven in region, warns Iran’s supreme leader after strikes
The Guardian World 1d ago
Lights On, Feelings On, Politics As Usual.
Original: Australia news live: Victorian buildings to be lit up for Neale Daniher; Labor MP challenges Marles in closed-door meeting over Israeli government support
The Guardian World 1d ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Still Got Credibility?
Original: New Kids on the Block Rock Vegas With “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” Performance at 2026 American Music Awards
Hollywood Reporter 1d ago
Still Relevant, Still Spandex.
Original: Billy Idol Delivers Empowering Lifetime Achievement Award Acceptance Speech, Closes AMAs With Hit Medley
Hollywood Reporter 1d ago

Sports ★ 5 stories