Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, May 20, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

EU Says Threats Exist. Surprise.
Original: Russian threats against Baltics ‘unacceptable’ and danger to ‘our entire union’, EU’s von der Leyen says - Europe live
The Guardian World 9h ago
Starmer Saves Us From…Gas Prices?
Original: Planned fuel duty rise to be scrapped, says Starmer as he defends changes to Russian oil sanctions – UK politics live
The Guardian World 9h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Greed Gets a Team.
Original: Goldman Sachs-Owned Sports Agency Partners With Patrick Whitesell’s Startup in Unusual Deal (Exclusive)
Hollywood Reporter 9h ago
Reality TV Survives. Shocking.
Original: Channel 4 Chief Denies Reports That ‘Married at First Sight U.K.’ Has Been Canceled Following Sexual Assault Allegations
Variety 9h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories