Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 3:00 AM UTC

Wednesday, May 20, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Darwinism in a suit.
Original: Kentucky Republican Rep. Thomas Massie loses primary race to Trump-backed challenger
NPR Politics 18h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Forever Isn't Cheap Anymore.
Original: Plex is tripling the price of a lifetime pass to $750 after doubling it last year
The Verge 21h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Seven Months, Plenty of Time for Regret.
Original: ‘I’ve got seven months left’: Massie speaks out after losing House primary to Trump-backed challenger Ed Gallrein – live
The Guardian World 18h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Fame's a Killer, Apparently.
Original: TikTok Influencer Charged With Conspiracy to Murder Why Don’t We Singer Jack Avery
Rolling Stone 19h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories