Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 AM UTC

Wednesday, May 20, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Texas: Still Got It.
Original: Trump endorses Paxton in Texas Senate primary over incumbent Cornyn
Washington Post Politics 22h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Forever Isn't Cheap Anymore.
Original: Plex is tripling the price of a lifetime pass to $750 after doubling it last year
The Verge 21h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Ceasefire? They missed the memo.
Original: Israeli strikes on Lebanon kill at least 19 as clashes with Hezbollah continue despite ceasefire
The Guardian World 21h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Bless Up, Box Office Avoided.
Original: Anne Hathaway’s ‘Mother Mary’ Arrives On Streaming After Dismal Run In Theaters
Forbes Business 22h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories

Optimism is a Strategy.
Original: 'We can reach our target' - De Zerbi defiant after Chelsea defeat
BBC Sport 22h ago